The Umbrella Technique: Stop Absorbing Everyone's Negativity

Negativity does not always arrive as a shout. Sometimes it shows up as a tiny look from someone across the room, a “helpful” comment that stings, a headline you cannot unsee, or the same anxious thought looping on repeat. We want a tool that works in the moment, not just when life finally calms down, so we share one of our favorite techniques from our work in therapy and hypnotherapy: a guided visualization called “Under the Umbrella.”

We walk you through the image step by step: you are safe beneath an umbrella while the rain falls around you, and every criticism, doubt, and unhelpful thought lands on the surface then slides away. The goal is not to block reality or pretend you do not care. It is to create emotional protection and healthy boundaries so you can listen, learn, and move on without absorbing everything as stress. We also talk about why this can be especially powerful for sensitive people and hyper-visual thinkers who experience life like a vivid movie in the mind.

From there, we explore mental imagery differences, including aphantasia, and how to adapt visualization techniques if you do not “see” pictures clearly. We bring it back to real life: using the umbrella during meetings, feedback, relationship tension, and overthinking spirals, plus a few alternative metaphors like the balloon and an “invisible sunscreen” shield you can apply at the start of the day. If you are searching for anxiety relief, stress management tools, mindfulness practices, and practical coping skills, this one is designed to be simple and repeatable.

If it helps, share it with someone who needs a calmer mind, subscribe for more, and leave us a review so more listeners can find these tools.

Transcript

Negativity And The Umbrella Idea

SPEAKER_00 0:00

How to protect yourself from negativity and from, you know, the negative people maybe that are around you or not not just people, but like the thoughts or exactly what's going on in the world that may affect you. We wrote all of the vibrations around you as well. We wrote a story called Under the Umbrella in our book Stress Free with Three Minutes. And it's a metaphor, really, isn't it, for this? Well, it's actually a helpful tool, we believe. If you manage to put it into practice, I think it really will help. And it's helped me and it's helped you, and it's helped lots of other people. And it helps with anxiety, stress, yeah, and just general worry, I think. Yes. So join us in this week's episode of Get Real with the Englishes Mind, Health, and Anxiety. And as always, we welcome you to the podcast. We are growing thanks to all of you who listen and tune in every week, or come and see us on YouTube as well, where we have the video version too. So we'll go straight

Guided Under The Umbrella Visual

SPEAKER_00 1:11

into it. Under the umbrella. Yes. Walking in the rain, under an umbrella, listening to the rain as it falls from the sky. Allow your mind to wander as you enjoy the view. Raindrops slip off your umbrella, and you stay dry deep down inside. And as you watch them slide, you feel safe and protected. Because you know how easy it is to let go. Let all criticisms and doubts fall right off the top of your umbrella and all the way down. Watch them as they hit the ground and simply disappear. Then, even on a sunny day or whenever you feel the need, you can, if you like, close your eyes and open your umbrella. And remember how easy it is to allow all unhelpful thoughts to fall right onto the ground.

Breath Reset And Imagery Details

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I need a deep breath after that one. Definitely. Definitely do need a deep breath. And I think in generally throughout the day, if you stop for a moment and take a deep breath, it will help you just reset, doesn't it? It resets everything. And I do believe when I imagine the story of this umbrella, I imagine those transparent umbrellas that once I think we used to have when we were children, the little ones that were like wouldn't develop you. Yeah, they were all like made of clear plastic. They still exist, you know. They still exist, but people still make them. Yeah, they're they're cute. And I imagine them, I I don't know why, perhaps. I don't know what you imagine. I always imagine just a black umbrella. A black one, okay. Because I think the black one for me is like more protective. It goes over the top, yes, and it like protects you underneath. It's not see-through. Yeah, like a shield. Like a shield, and then the raindrops just fall off that on the side. Lovely. No, I I sort of see the raindrops dropping off the invisible. It's curious to see how we all have different imaginations, don't we?

Visualization Styles And Aphantasia

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Absolutely. Depending on, yeah, if you're like, I think it's called avisual or hypervisual. It's like if you know there are different types of things that you see in your mind depending on how you imagine them. Some people don't actually, if they're avisual, they don't actually imagine things. Well, I think, but we're both hyper-visual, so we can really see things very well. I was listening to a podcast about that, that's why I might even be getting the worst way. So what do they do then? Well, like for example, if you said, imagine uh an umbrella an open umbrella not imagine, you just say, okay, so there's a scene where there's somebody walking in the rain with an umbrella, and uh what can you see? I see a person walking in the rain with an umbrella, a man with a black umbrella. Well, that's quite detailed, you see. And do you see it like a movie? Like, is is there movement in what you see, or is it movement? Movement, yeah. Same as with me. But if you ask an avisual person what they see, they don't actually see anything. They they rely more on uh I mean for me it's extremely difficult to imagine what they when I was listening to this podcast and and he was asking the other guests what do you see, he said nothing really, but you'd be surprised to find that most of the people that design and draw cartoons and they work for like Disney, all these people, they're a visual, they don't actually um they they don't actually imagine it the way we do. Like I too, when when if somebody said, imagine a scene, this was actually in the podcast, of uh a tablecloth with uh red checks on it, and an ant uh and an ant, and there's a jar in the middle of a red jar with some kind of red liquid in it. I'd imagine the ant going towards the red. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I I mean I don't know you people out there listening, what you would see or what you imagine. So, I mean, we're all very different now. I also saw the the tablecloth, I actually saw the ant moving, quite a large black ant moving towards the red. Very nice. No, not in the ant. It wasn't that scary, just a normal garden ant, but you know they're quite big compared to some of the tiny ones. Yeah, all right, it's not about ants. It the reason why you don't like ants and why you're squeamish at the time is because you are hyper-visual. I don't want to make the whole podcast about this, but it was just something I found really interesting. So, what could our listeners do then if they can't visualize a black umbrella? You you close your eyes and you you yeah, if you can't visualize it, you've given me a question, maybe do a drawing, like what they do. They draw it on a piece of paper and then you can see it. Yes, yes, or you can um if you have an umbrella in the house, you can literally open an umbrella up and then you can you you have to go inside, obviously, and it and imagine again. Imagine you have to go outside to open an umbrella because apparently it's superstitious to open it inside the house. Apparently it is. Do you still adhere to that? I do definitely adhere. Um I'm not really suspicious, but I just think why not, just in case. Really? Yeah. And I think there's obviously reasons for it because I think if you open an umbrella in the house, it's big and you could hurt yourself. Exactly. You might poke someone with it, or someone hurt, you know, it's quite a big thing. You do. I remember when we were in London walking down with our umbrellas because there's so many people, they all bump into each other. It's actually quite dangerous. Yes, it is to have umbrella. You need your umbrella as well to protect yourself walking around, yeah. Because if you're the one without your open umbrella, you might get poked. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Anyway, going back to what we were talking about, I've got distracted by this other thought, but I I it I mean, uh where I'm allowing ourselves to go linguistic programming.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

There's a lot based on visualization, isn't there? Like if you're afraid of something, put it in a frame and like take it away from you, uh visualize it going further and further away, visualize it exactly that I was thinking if you're a visual, if you're somebody visual, then what do you do? It's harder to do those techniques you have to work around them, but you hate it, exactly. You have to be creative. I think I think maybe if you're avisual, you maybe you have like you can remember like the rain. What does the rain smell like? If there is any kind of sometimes you can remember that people can be totally avisu, though. Not totally, perhaps. Because like if you like what they say in neurolinguistic programming, if you when you're little you learn what a door looks like and how it opens, then you you every door you come across, you know how to open it and you know it's a door. Yeah, so you must be able to visualize, you must be able to see the door and know what it is. Perhaps they're less than less. I I I I haven't researched it enough to be able to say that. I just listened to a quick part of the case. I know they were mentioning it.

Empathy Hyper-Visual Minds And Anxiety

SPEAKER_00 9:08

With my husband, I can go into a shop and see a wardrobe or something, and I can visualize it in the room whereas he can't. Exactly. Or I can kind of visualize what a certain colour curtain would look like. I can imagine it. And sometimes, like when you actually watch a movie, you feel so much pain for what's going on because or or like like when my husband he used to tell me jokes, and I used to think, yeah, that he th he thought they were funny, but they were about something horrible. For me, they were like, Oh, something got hit on the head, fell on the ground, or something like that, and I would immediately imagine it. So if you're telling me somebody fell on the ground and then ha ha ha, I think, oh poor person. Yes, for me, he would always say, You're ruining every joke. It's supposed to be funny, but I can see it. So if you tell me somebody got three men got drunk in a bar, okay, and then one came out and he fell on the floor and he bumped his head, and I'm already seeing the blood on the floor. For me, it's like, oh my gosh, yeah, this man, he has he's had too much alcohol. Is he gonna be left on the floor? His fellow people around him, are they gonna leave him all night? For me, that's not funny. No, because I think is because I can maybe imagine or see too much. Too much. So I don't know. I know all I know is that we're different. We are different. I can see, yeah, I don't like it either, I must say. I don't like those jokes, those kind of jokes. Or anything that to do with anything that that is like deprecate somebody or someone. I can't I can't people get hurt in it. Yes, I don't I don't like that. I don't I don't find it humorous at all.

unknown 10:55

No.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

No, I don't either. He says your your reaction is funnier than the joke because you're so upset by it.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

I mean he's learnt now over the years not to say those jokes, but anyway. They don't get much satisfaction from telling us those kind of jokes. No, they don't. I remember once when we were at the gym, that the this one well the the gym owner told me a joke and I started crying, and he was so upset by it in the end. But I said, sorry, but those jokes, they just they don't cut it with me. They're not then I don't find them humorous. I mean it was a horrible joke, really. You could yeah, it was awful. But I don't remember it. Yeah, I don't I don't find those things funny, but it is because I've got such a visual imagination, and I do, and I think people that the the when people like us that are empathetic and very visual, we do suffer more from anxiety and stress because we can imagine everything so much, we live things so so so fully that we really do need the umbrella to protect us. We do and we can other people in the or we can hear the heavy rain falling, and we can see the raindrops fall on the ground in our minds, and perhaps even hear the drops as they fall, and we can allow ourselves to let go. Yeah, and that we don't have to absorb everything or get so upset by it. That's a good point. Absorb everything. I think that's probably the reason why we wrote the story in the beginning, because we also felt like we didn't need to absorb everything very, very much at the beginning of our careers is when we wrote this book or right sort of midway, and we were probably feeling sometimes a little bit overwhelmed, and um yeah, I do uh you're absolutely right,

Stop Absorbing Criticism And Overthinking

SPEAKER_00 12:48

yeah. It's it's not to get everybody else's worries and fears, and you just pop the umbrella up and you say, Okay, even our own worries and fears, our own overthinking about certain situations. We may have done something and then we're thinking, have I offended someone? Have I have I upset somebody? Yeah, have I, you know, have I have just because we can see everything so clearly, we can see people's reactions to us. So instead of just letting it go, we start worrying about it and thinking, overthinking things when someone else will just brush it off their, you know, their shoulders and I've got they've got like their own natural umbrella and won't even touch them. Yeah, so if you don't have your natural umbrella, and I don't think everyone does have a natural umbrella all the time. But but I think some people that don't they don't they don't seem to be able to do that? They're probably not listening to this podcast. They're probably not listening to this podcast. But those kind of people are are just they're more like I think they're more they live more in the moment and they don't really think about what other people think of them that way. The criticisms, the doubts are more, they're less they're just more like la la la. Down to like down to earth, they're just thinking more about what's happening to me today, maybe a little bit more self-centered. Maybe, but maybe that's also something we can learn from. Sometimes I admire those youthful. Yes, I can learn from people like that. Yes, yes, we can. I mean, like my husband sometimes he's more self-centered than me, and very much so, so is my and he doesn't bother, these things just don't bother them, don't bother him and or them or your husband. I just think, you know, I should I should learn from that. I do try and learn from that. Yes, yeah, yeah, you do try and learn, don't you? We do learn. Sometimes I'm more we do learn. We do learn. I model that kind of behaviour and saying, okay, just kind of let go, you know, it's not it's

Using The Umbrella At Work

SPEAKER_00 14:52

not. I have actually used the umbrella that many times I used it lots of times as well as a useful tool. Yeah, an imaginary tool, just to put it up, and you just think, no, this um the umbrella's going up now. The umbrella's going up, so you might be in a meeting and you might be getting what people call helpful criticism, helpful feedback, but you may feel like crying. If you're vulnerable, yes, you might think, yes, I know this is helpful, but you're getting a lot of said stuff said to you that you may feel is not quite right or slightly unfair because you did try your best and you did. So that's a moment to just pop up this umbrella. Nobody knows what's going on in your head. You open the lovely umbrella up and you start listening and letting it all fall down to the ground, whereas it doesn't have to come inside you, it can go outside and fall on the ground. And all this can be useful for anything. I I refer to work, but it could be private relationships, not everything that everyone's telling you is always it has to be taken so personally. No, and uh, people are in their own heads a lot of the time, and they may say things that they don't actually really mean as well, or they're just like they don't give those things the same weight that maybe us people us that are more sensitive and more empathetic give it, and so that's what makes it harder for us and makes us feel more stressed and more anxious than maybe other people.

Balloon Letting Go And Shield Metaphors

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah, I I've got one son who is very empathetic, and I actually taught him this technique when he was little, and I remember saying, just put out the umbrella, then just listen to what people are saying. It's not it's not you just you don't have to take it so personally, let it go. But it can be difficult. There are other uh metaphors you can imagine, like a balloon, you put everything in the balloon, and then you can just watch a balloon go up in the air. That's also another one where you can let go. That's another lovely technique, yeah. But I don't know why, but I found this one as if but maybe I don't know, I could sort of relate to it easier because I could just pop it up. It was like as if I had a secret umbrella in my bag or something, like almost like you have a magic wand, isn't it? You have this thing that you can actually physically put over you, exactly, yeah, like the invisible wand, and it just protects you, and it has like an ongoing, it's a bit like a sunscreen that you put it on and then you can't see it anymore, but it's still there, it's still protecting you. Yes, that's a good point. Yes, because you can just put it on in the morning and then you keep it on the floor. And then you're fine all day. I mean, the one we use we're fine all day, it says reapply every two hours, but it seems to be perfect. But I know that you're supposed to reapply it. Kind of we don't get burnt though, do we? We never get burnt. But they said sometimes you can have invisible damage. Well, okay, be careful, be careful that you can. The point is that it's a shield, isn't it? It's something that protects you from the harmful rays, and in the same way, in the morning, you can just think, okay, I put my sungreen on and whatever. I'm also just gonna pop the umbrella, the invisible umbrella, and just take it with me and have it like a tool from whatever happens today. I've got that, and it's something to have up your sleeve, it's another little trick, isn't it? It's definitely and it's a trick, and it's a trick that actually works because you can really hear the criticism fall down, you can hear the lots of things that people say that they might not mean. And it can also help, like with overbearing thoughts or overthinking certain situations. If you find that you have like an earworm and you can't get rid of it, and you keep thinking about it, and you can just say, Okay, I've this keeps coming back again, so let me just put the umbrella up now and imagine it falling on the umbrella, and then it just goes into the ground and it's finished with. Yeah, like a raindrop, it will be absorbed, it will, but not by us, no, exactly by the ground, which actually needs it to flourish. Yeah.

Awareness Resilience And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 19:23

So let us know what you think. Do you find that you need it or you're searching for maybe that's why you found this podcast episode, because you're searching for calmness in your life, and you feel that you need to be grounded and be stress-free and anxiety-free. And that's I think that's why originally we got into all of this therapy and hypnotherapy, because we felt as if there was something missing in our lives, that we needed to have certain ways of dealing with situations and coping with things, yeah, and just becoming more resilient and learning to learning how to let those unhelpful thoughts or even just to learn how to say that some thoughts are unhelpful, to become aware of the fact that we have helpful and we have unhelpful thoughts in our way. Awareness is what we always say is key. Because once you're aware, you you know. You know, exactly. Well, we're let's hope that you know you can use the umbrella whenever you need to. Yes, and let us know if you're already using it, and there might be already something that's come up because it is a very useful tip and trick to use and technique for uh stress relief and anxiety relief and just general well-being, really. And and and that way you can allow your mind to wander and to enjoy your view. Come and see us on Instagram, X, wherever you get your podcast to at the English Sisters at English Sisters, and come and see the video version where you can actually see us in person, so to speak. And if you'd like an individual therapy session, we are available online. So just message us and we'll arrange it for you. Yes, we will. Thank you so much. Love and smash from the English system. Bye. And thank you for listening all over the world. Bye bye.